“As we do unto others, we do unto ourselves.”
I think the Golden Rule is misunderstand. Most people translate the words to mean we should treat others the way we want to be treated. I believe it is saying far more than that. I believe it is telling us that it is impossible to project our feelings on another person, because everyone we believe to be outside the self is really a mirror image of it. The negative behaviors we don’t like in ourselves we push outwardly, onto others. The irony is, “they” are “us.” We will never get rid of negative feelings in this manner. They will continue to reflect back to us until we recognize and let them go.
Some people call this karma, others say “you get what you give.” In both cases, however, the message is the same. It’s coming back to you if you push it away. Resistance is a powerful magnet.
I used to know a girl whose very presence grated on my nerves. It seemed she represented all the qualities I detested. She was arrogant, self-absorbed, demanding and bossy. Whenever she came into the room, I gritted my teeth and did the best I could to tolerate her company. Mostly, I avoided her. Nonetheless, her daily invasion of my world was ongoing. It was always miserable while she was there, and when she left, it was like a cloud of doom lifted. Secretly, I wished she would move…find new people to torture.
One day, after giving this some thought, I started to wonder what might have made this girl learn such behaviors. I understood she wasn’t born acting like that…something taught her to behave in that manner. I looked back into my own history, and recognized every single one of those traits in myself. I, too, had been arrogant, self-absorbed, demanding and bossy at different times of my life. Wow! Imagine that! There was nothing about that girl that I had not been myself. No wonder I didn’t like her…she was reminding me of those moments in my own life when I treated others badly. I apologized, in my mind, to all those I offended with these behaviors and I asked myself what, in me, reacted to treat others in that manner. Each time, the answer was the same. I had been hurt by others. I was fending off an attack by engaging in the old adage, “the best offense is a good defense.”
After seeing these traits in myself…and especially after understanding them…I was able to change my response to her presence. The next time she came into the room, I chose not to run away. I even offered to help her. Surprisingly, she thanked me and started up a pleasant conversation. As I learned about her troubled past, it was easy to understand what had caused her to build walls around her heart. Like me, she was using defense as an offensive tactic. Within a few weeks, we became good friends and I never saw those negative traits in her again. Why? I no longer had the need to have them reflected back to me.
The more we understand about our unification with everything that appears apart from the self, the more we begin to heal the wounds of our past. Once we recognize that “all of this” comes from but one Source, we know it all to be the same One, Being. While it seems easier to project our negative behaviors outwardly onto others, all we are really doing is clinging tightly to that which we don’t like. The images we see around us now carry the karma. It will forever follow us until we accept it as ours. When we tell ourselves, “I would never be like that,” we need to look again. We are like that or we would not recognize it in others.
Think of this like a ball thrown against a wall. Every time it is sent away, it comes back. We can keep throwing it away…denying it belongs to us…but the harder we push it away, the stronger it comes back. The only way to let it go is to stop throwing it to that which is outside the self. Once we recognize it keeps coming back due to our own actions, we no longer blame the wall. We understand the laws of cause and effect, and realize the game will end only when we stop trying to get rid of it by resistance. We look at it, claim it, set it down, and the cause no longer produces the same effect.
“Physician, heal thyself.” In reclaiming all the traits we don’t like in others, we change. We heal. The world around us then reflects that change. It heals. All healing is done in the self, not in others; for they are us.
In some people, we see the traits we love. We identify with those people and claim we are alike. In other people, we see things we hate. We disown those qualities and label them and those who represent them as bad. We aren’t like them, of course. The truth is, we are all of them, and the very ones we push away are the ones we most urgently need to accept. In doing so, the stigma of “bad” falls away, and we see those behaviors for what they are…the polar opposite. Neither good nor bad. They simply are.
As children, we learn about good behaviors, but we also learn about the ones we are told are bad. Some behaviors resulted in rewards of praise, love and honor. We liked those. They made us feel good. When certain behaviors brought about negative responses from our parents and teachers, we quickly learned to push them away. Why? We wanted acceptance and approval. We were uncomfortable with the energy of resistance. Now, whenever we see those behaviors in ourselves or others, we deny them. We want nothing to do with them because we believe associating with them will cause others to dislike us. Funny thing is, our resistance is bringing us exactly what we didn’t want to experience…more resistance!
Our acceptance of that which we hate is what finally releases it from the responsibility of reflecting it back to us. We cannot shine light into a room of light and see it. It must illuminate a space of darkness. Alas, not only do we recognize it, we truly appreciate it. Reaching higher stages of enlightenment, we do not posture ourselves with fists poised to strike the enemy. We lift our open arms high above our heads and embrace and welcome All That Is with ultimate acceptance.
Whatever we do to others, we do to ourselves. Embrace everything. Resist nothing. Transform. Transmute. The parts that don’t resonate with your vibration? See them, put them down, but do not label them as “bad” and then project them onto others. In doing so, it must come back to you, for there is but One of us.
And always, always remember to love one another even as you are eternally loved.
No exceptions.
I AM…Jodi
www.godisaverb.com/blog
